Pet Loss Grief
Information
Pet Loss Grief Information
Helping you to understand your grief around pet loss.
Resources and Tools for your pet loss grief journey
Updated monthly
Understanding the bond you have with your pet
Conventionally Bonded
Conventionally bonded animal lovers consider their pets as members of their families, but they don’t give their pets the same status they do to their human family members. These folks make up the largest group of pet guardians. They provide loving homes and are responsible about caring for their pets, but losing a pet is not a source of major trauma. Although they experience grief over the loss of a pet, people in this category tend to recover more quickly than intensely or uniquely bonded people. For most people on this page, you will find you are either intensely or uniquely bonded with your pet.
Intensely Bonded
Pet guardians who are intensely bonded regard their pets as integral family members. They form deep, emotional attachments to their pets and provide them with the same level of care they would for any other family member. Intensely bonded pet guardians may sometimes exceed their financial means to provide care for their pets. They even may think of their companion animal as their “surrogate child.” Intensely bonded pet owners often experience a long grieving process and a much greater sense of personal loss following the loss of their pet than conventionally bonded pet owners.
Uniquely Bonded
People with the deepest attachment to their companion animals, those who are uniquely bonded, provide extravagant care and attention to their pets. Often, they prefer the company of their pets to that of other humans, and they may even refer to their pet by such terms as “my closest friend,” “my soul mate,” “my son,” or “my daughter.” The loss of their close companion often is devastating, and their grieving may last for a very long time and move into protracted grief. A very large proportion of clients I work with have been uniquely bonded to their beloved pet.
Disenfranchised Grief
When your grief is invalidated or not recognised
Disenfranchised grief is best described as grief that is not really recognised as being valid or even real grief!
Unfortunately, for many pet owners when a pet passes on, family, friends and work colleagues may struggle to understand the level of grief associated with the loss of your pet.
Non pet lovers may struggle to understand your loss and invalidate your emotions and feelings, leaving you feeling isolated, shunned and embarrassed.
Sadly, some in society do not recognise pet loss as being a significant loss. This is the very definition of disenfranchised grief at its worst.
Thankfully, in these times more and more people and in particular pet lovers understand that losing a pet is every bit as traumatic and devastating as any other loss. In fact, it has been shown that the grief surrounding pet loss may go way beyond traditional beliefs around death and grief.
At My Everything Pet Loss Grief Counselling, I will validate your grief, offering compassion and empathy towards all of your feelings.
Your pet, your family, your grief.
The agony of having to decide.
Euthanising your aged, infirm or sick pet.
Experiencing the difficult decision to euthanise your beloved pet can evoke a range of emotions including anger, sadness, and even feelings of immense responsibility akin to playing a god-like role in their life.
Regret may also surface as you navigate the challenging choice, but know that you are not alone and support is available to help you through this tough time.
There are many reasons we may have to send our pets to their afterlife, including:
Chronic Illness
Diminished Quality of Life
Age or Infirmity
Intractable Behavioural Issues
(Severe aggression, bite risk, court ordered)
Complete loss of mobility
Extreme pain and suffering
The guilt and bewilderment associated with making this decision is challenging on so many levels.
It is completely normal to also feel rage and hatred towards yourself while determining what to do.
Children and Pet Loss Grief
How to talk to your child about it
Losing a pet can be especially difficult for children, who may experience a range of emotions such as sadness, confusion, and even guilt. It's crucial for parents to create a safe space for their child to express their feelings openly and honestly about the loss of their beloved pet.
Consistency is key in helping children navigate pet loss grief.
Parents should explain why the pet passed away in an age-appropriate manner, allowing the child to ask questions and process the information.
Creating a memorial space in your home or garden can provide a tangible way for children to remember their pet, while encouraging them to write a letter to the pet can be a therapeutic way to express their emotions and find peace and understanding.
How your grief may feel and look
The nature of grief............
Individuals experiencing grief from a loss may choose a variety of ways of expressing their grief. No two people will respond to the same loss in the same way.
However, some frequent grief reactions include:
Changed behaviours:
• Seeking solitude, withdrawal
• Change in social activities
• Inappropriate behaviour (e.g. laughing)
• Absent mindedness
• Crying
Sleep and energy disturbances:
• Feeling fatigued, restless, lethargic
• Sleep difficulties
Other physical symptoms:
• Changed eating habits
• Gastro-intestinal complaints
• Decreased interest in pleasurable activities
• Decreased sex drive
A range of troubling emotions may be shown:
• Feelings of denial, disbelief, numbness, shock, panic, or sadness
• Feelings of isolation
• Mood fluctuations
• Anger, guilt, frustration, hostility, blaming
You may also experience cognitive difficulties such as forgetfulness, confusion or a lack of concentration,
spiritual emptiness and pessimism.
Constant thought about the deceased or a feeling of their presence. Often, feeling like you have 'seen' them again.
Although these reactions can be overwhelming and distressing it is important to accept and not to avoid them. It is also useful to remember your reactions are common and natural and you are not alone.
How grief actually works
Grieving the loss of a beloved pet is a unique and individual journey as grief works in its own distinct way.
It's important to remember that grief is not linear; it ebbs and flows like the tide.
Feeling a range of emotions is normal and natural when grieving the loss of a pet, and it's okay to allow yourself the time and space needed to heal.
The Pet Lover's Code
The 10 Commandments of Pet Loss
The 10 Commandments of Pet Loss
1. You have the right to grieve the loss of your pet.
2. You have the right to talk about your grief.
3. You have the right to feel a variety of emotions.
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
5. You have the right to experience “grief bursts.”
6. You have the right to make use of ritual.
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
8. You have the right to search for meaning.
9. You have the right to treasure your memories.
10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
"The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth will ever be" - Konrad Lorenz
Pet Loss Counselling
The tasks of grief
Acceptance, Experience, Adjustment, Reinvestment
At My Everything Pet Loss Grief Counselling, we understand the deep pain of losing a beloved pet.
To heal, we must navigate the necessary tasks of grief. Every individual processes grief uniquely, so there's no rush to heal.
Give yourself the time and space you need to move through your grief journey at your own pace.
I will gently move you through the Tasks of Grief, helping you each step of the way.
The 7 Stages of Grief
You can expect to move through each stage during your pet loss grief journey. I work on your timeline.
Electronic receipts are issued at your appointment. Please submit to your fund.
My Everything Pet Loss Grief Counselling 0406 456 643
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